Frustration!

Well I have done it! I have created a blog. We'll see how this works out, lol. This is a place for me to say the things that I can not say elsewhere. I have no idea who will read this, if anyone, but I feel like I need it.

I am a woman. I am a wife, a mother, a sister, a friend. I have dreams, hopes and fears just like anyone else I suppose.

I am starting this blog out of frustration (hence the title). See, I have been posting certain things on my facebook status that I have been told, people don't like. My status' were always vague, just sharing bits of info that people who care would inquire about. Apparently it's too much information. Or something like that. I don't understand a lot of peoples response. I know that non believers may have a hard time with that but I would think that my family would like the info so they can pray. Maybe most people are not like me, when I see a troubling status I take a moment to pray. I am not trying to make myself out to be super righteous, I know I am far from it, but I guess I have an apathetic heart which causes me to do such things. Not everyone is like that.

Well here I can say what I please!!!! I understand my husbands perspective. He said he doesn't' want to share my heart with the world and I get that. However there are some things that I can no longer share with him since he has turned away from faith. So where do I go with those things? Well from now on I guess I will come here. I hope this is helpful to someone. If it's only to myself then so be it.

Life has been extremely challenging these last few years. My world has been rocked to its very core. Everything I wanted in life seems to have shifted if not been stolen from me completely. I am relying 100% on Christ Jesus to help me go from day to day. If I did not have my faith I don't think I would still be in my marriage. In fact I know I would not. However, Christ is calling me to love my husband. So here is where I stay. It's funny cause I know that if I go I could have a wonderful life, perhaps eventually find everything I ever wanted, but I stay. I stay because this is my battle ground. I stay because there is something more yet to be done. I stay because I have hope. Even in times where things seem hopeless and I wonder what tomorrow will bring, I hope. I choose to never let go of that. If Christ releases me then so be it, but for now I press onwards.

So my prayer for today.

Lord you are the one true Living God. May your glory fill the whole earth. Lord help me be the woman you want me to be. Help me to love unconditionally. Help me to be bold and courageous. Let me stand firm in what I believe and not waiver. Help me to be compassionate, and understanding. Help me not to judge but to love freely seeking wisdom in every area of my life.

May I ever rest in your unfailing love.

Amen.