Have you ever wondered where you will be five years from now? I do! In fact sometimes I wonder where I will be Tomorow. I hate this not knowing. I never know if it's gonna be a fight day or just a I'll put up with you day. If you asked me five years ago I never would have thought I'd be here. I can't help but think if my life is going to be like this forever. I hate arguing in front of our kids but it's the only real time I get Trevors attention. It's so sad and pathetic. Sometimes I feel like I am torturing myself and the kids. The boys love their dad so much. I just wish I had my friend back. It can get very lonely. Sigh, I also hate complaining all the time. It's not who I want to be so topic change.

I love my kids so much! I am continually blessed and grateful that God knew I would need such an amazing sensitive little boy. There are usually several times in a week where God uses my kids to teach me a lesson, and let me know I am loved. Like jaden wanting to pray for the big kid who pushed him off the slide, to telling me he appreciates me or is proud if me. So tonight I pray for my kids. I pray God will continue to mold and shape them. I pray Jesus that you would guide Their steps. Place people who love you in their lives who can help them learn and grow in the things that matter the most! Amen